In Response To Leelah

I posted this on my facebook and I figured I should share it here as well(sorry I'm not on here much). I will also be doing a poem in honor of Leelah on my wattpad soon.
This is a piece I did awhile ago on society and misgendering and such: And His Soul is Held in High Regard

Facebook post:

I know I don't actually talk much in person (as many people like to point out) but it's not because I'm shy or anything. I tend to have very differing opinions from a lot of people and I don't want to start unnecessary fights. And most conversations aren't about anything really important anyway. However, if you bring up something such as gender identity or sexual orientation, I will become one of the loudest people in that conversation, because there is absolutely no reason to discriminate against someone for something they can not change. Hate is never an answer. And I know that I feel very strongly on the subject because I know how it feels, but I still believe that even if you don't know what it's like to feel like you don't belong or you'll never fit in or your body will never look like it is supposed to, you should understand the pain some of us go through. And yes, you can say "Oh poor thing, those people shouldn't have done that, if only this had changed-" and feel like your part is done, but it's not. Saying "something should have changed" isn't saying "Something WILL change". And somethings HAVE to change. While I won't riot (violence isn't the answer), I am going to do something. I have been doing things. I have been yelling at high schoolers in the hallways using "gay" as an insult, I've been pointing out peoples' mistakes, I've stood up against bullying. I've signed petitions and ranted all over the internet. And I do this without having had anything major happening, such as the death of Leelah. But when stuff such as this happens, it ticks me off even more. I feel more fight. The fucking media around her death. Oh my gods, don't even get me started. Yes, it's sort of positive, yes, it's sort of bringing around change, but I've seen this happen before, we all have. It'll be all over the place for a few days, and then suddenly, it's gone, poof, everyone has forgotten, very little has changed.

A lot of the more well read media used the wrong pronouns for Leelah and threw around her birth name like it was no big deal. You may be trying to help but it's not helping any of us who know what she'd gone through to some extent, and it's not helping except to bring our attention to it and to let ignorant people think it's okay to use the wrong pronouns, to use and ask for birth names, to ask rude questions. And it's confusing people who've never been exposed to this sort of thing. Innocent people are now going to be taken for ignorant, hateful people because they copied the media, not knowing any better.

WE NEED MORE EDUCATION. On gender identity especially, and even on gender expression and the spectrums. And while we're moving in the right direction with sexual orientations, there still is no non-hetereosexual sex education, which we also need.
WE NEED LESS HATE. I don't care about your religion. I have looked at many religions, and while I haven't studied all of them, I believe that the moral of every religion is love. I doubt that any god condones hate. There is absolutely no reason to hate another being on something they can not change, ever. Sure, hate someone because they're an asshole, but DO NOT hate someone because of their sexual orientation, because of their gender identity, because of their gender expression, or because of mental illness(sorry I just sort of threw that in, but it's another big issue in our society).
WE NEED OPEN MINDS. Please, anyone reading this, I beg of you, open your mind. Never has someone looked at their self in the mirror and said "Wow, I would really love to be harassed and called the wrong thing and discriminated against for the rest of my life, let's join the LGBTQetc community!" Nobody wants what they get simply because they're different. Nobody wants to stand in a hallway, looking between two bathroom doors and scream internally because they have absolutely no clue which sign is for them. For the people who are cis, you know where you're going; for the people that are trans, you know where you're meant to be, but you don't know what could happen if you entered that bathroom. People are beaten to death just for using the restroom that matches their gender identity. And for people like me, people who don't fit the binary, we have no clue what to do. I don't even use public restrooms anymore.

Speaking of death, did you know that trans* people, unless directly stated in their will, can and will be presented as their biological sex and not as who they truly are in death? I hate to think, but boys will be put in nice dresses and have their faces painted like ladies and put in a coffin for all their family and friends to see. The last time you saw that person was before they died, because this representation of them as their biological sex is not them. They were never their genitals, and honestly, genitals shouldn't matter, not in most situations.

We need change. And I for one am doing something. I have been doing something and will continue to. For about a year I have been writing and collecting my thoughts and planning to go to the school or the school board or the county with a plea for help. A demand for rights. A need for education. And as soon as I finalize this, I am going to follow through with my plan. I will be asking for gender identity education, for non-hetereo sex education, for gender neutral spaces (bathrooms, locker rooms, etc.). And eventually, I will find a way to get across to the state, to the nation, to the world. Maybe not personally, but by standing up and saying something, demanding respect, I am starting a revolution. And with me or against me, you will eventually hear my voice, raised with everyone else who stands with me, with everyone else who has ever been put in a situation like mine. By working towards something, even if I die before changing the state, I have started a movement towards have the entire world understand and accept us. You've heard of The Butterfly Effect? Well I'm going to be a goddamn swarm of butterflies and I'm going to bring the hurricane of change.

And I'm sorry for this long rant, but something has to be done.‪#‎RememberLeelah‬ And remember that 41% of the trans* community has attempted suicide as well. She is not the first, the only, or the last.

Please Ask Questions and Use the Correct Pronouns

Okay so I'm home sick and I just read this article about facebook's new gender options and found that it did a pretty good job of explaining the difference between gender and sex, defining some of the terms, and in the beginning it even gave you a glimpse into what dysphoria is like. But I realize that articles like these are created to answer questions that people are too scared to ask. I get that asking questions can be intimidating and make you feel bad or, well, stupid (I mean, when I'm in math class I feel pretty inadequate) but if you don't ask questions, you make mistakes and could offend someone.
I, for one, love it when people ask me questions about gender or sexuality in attempt to understand. It gives me hope that humanity does have people who care and want to avoid making others feel horrible about themselves (because high school seems to be all about belittlement). But I understand that there are those extreme gender non-comformists and "angry lesbians" who call everyone "cis-scum"(I hate that term so much) and tell us we're all ignorant (but how are we supposed to learn if you're just going to yell as us every time we ask?). Some people feel like these are the people we encounter most, though in reality, these are the ones you remember most clearly. The world is actually filled (I hope) with people willing to explain and answer reasonable questions.
So I wanted to open this up and ask you guys to ask questions in the comments. This will prompt me to post more often and also help you learn and feel more comfortable around those who don't fit into the gender binary or have a different sexual orientation. I will answer to the best of my abilities, but be aware that some of my answers will be based on personal experience and my understanding and may not apply to everyone.

I also want to address preferred pronouns. My significant other recently chose a gender-neutral name (and then never told me that they were actually starting to use it but there was a good reason behind that) and has been using gender neutral pronouns since last year. But to this day I still hear their friends using the wrong pronouns and it irritates me that they don't even seem to be trying. And I get called "she" all the time. My brother even had the balls to tell me that I'm "technically a girl". Granted, he's nine so I forgave him and explained that, no, I'm not "technically a girl", I'm biologically female and technically gender fluid(**). I've been trying to get people to use the xe pronouns when referring to me and it seems to have had no affect on anyone other than my significant other.
I want people to always ask if someone has preferred pronouns and make a conscious effort to use those pronouns but I realize that this seems unobtainable. Also, it's really awkward asking people for their preferred pronouns, especially when they have no idea what in heck preferred pronouns are. Pronouns are the words we use when referring to something (such as he, she, it) and preferred pronouns are what someone has chosen for themselves in order to feel at home in their bodies and that comply with their identities. Calling me "she" would be wrong (as I am not a she) and offensive, and usually gives me a sense of dysphoria(I will probably explain this in a different post. I guess ask me about it).

In my last blog thing (the really offensive, ignorant, and uneducated one that I made when I was still figuring myself out), my posts were excessively long and I'm trying to stray away from that so I'm going to end this here even though this is somewhat confusing. I'll clear things up in future posts.
(**)I want to make mention that while I identify as gender-fluid, I'm still actually gender questioning. Gender-fluid is the term I found that relates most closely to my identity but I still find that it doesn't fit me perfectly.

I guess this whole post is basically saying please ask me questions so I can help you (and gender non-conforming/not heterosexual people) out.
Also, I'll still post even if I don't get asked questions, they'll just be random and sporadic.

Sporadic Updates

I doubt I'll be able to make regular posts but here's a short one explaining why they'll be sporadic.

I started my Junior year of high school and I decided that I was going to take four Advanced Placement classes, two languages, and honors pre-calc with trig while also juggling a sport (soccer) and living an hour away from the school. Homework is a bitch and a half.

Anyways, since last post, I turned 17, I moved, and I suggested moving in together to my significant other once I turn 18. That last part was sort of accidental but now that I've thought about it, I really want it to happen. Their life is pretty awful and I really want to be able to protect them, and getting them out of their house is the only way to do so. Also I really love them and yeah.

It sounds stupid, I know, I'm only 17, but hey. If it's a mistake, great, I'll learn from it. If it's not, even better. And it's quite possible that we won't be together a year from now (though I don't really foresee that happening). 

I do have a little bit of free time, but it's usually spent with friends or writing(or watching Stargate SG-1 I'm sorry but this blog doesn't have a huge following anyways so why not).

Speaking of writing, I'm probably just gonna end this with one stanza of a recent poem that I think is really good. I'm writing about a universe in someone's eyes and then pulling individual constellations to write about to give it more depth and since many constellations have myths, I'm using those.

Obviously I can't give a synopsis to save my life so here's the stanza:

"Andromeda was portrayed in her sea green eyes

Prompting even the most intellectual of men to stutter through their sentences

In attempts to unchain her ocean-weathered heart from the rock"

The myth is here and might explain a little bit of it. 

Sorry this blog is crap.

Also, I've been infected by a musical group called Purity Ring. If you haven't heard of them, check them out, but I bought their album Shrines a couple of days ago and I've already listened to every song on the album 50 times and all of their songs are stuck in my head (which is why I say I've been infected).

Introductions (I'm Here and I'm Queer)

Hello. I'm Rianna, but I answer to many names. Jimmy, Fabio, Punk Rock girl(cringe), Skrillex, Socks, Ryan, and Rhiannon. There are probably several more but I'm blanking right now. Ryan and Rhiannon are names I've chosen for myself, though. I'm gender fluid, meaning that sometimes I am male, sometimes I am female, sometimes I am a mix of the two, sometimes I am neither, sometimes I'm a third gender, sometimes I am no gender at all. There are an infinite number of gender possibilities and I've been quite a few of them. Most of the time, I do not fit into the gender binary (male/female). My preferred pronouns are xe (look here for conjugations and other gender neutral pronouns). Ryan is my chosen male name and Rhiannon is my chosen female name for the moment. I'm still having problems with gender expression and how clothes usually have a set binary gender, so it's highly unlikely that anyone would ever be able to tell the difference between any of my genders. I may end up changing my chosen binary names if I decide to choose a more neutral name, seeing as the name Rianna is still very feminine (also maybe I'm tired of people singing to me every time I meet someone new. I don't even have an umbrella-ella-ella). I'm also pansexual, meaning I have the ability to fall in love with anyone, regardless of gender or lack thereof.
This blog will probably be a lot of posts with me talking about LGBT(QPIAA2 etc. however many letters/numbers there are) issues and bringing awareness to some issues and educating people. I'm going into my junior year of high school and this is the first year that I will attempt to get my teachers, friends, and classmates to use my correct pronouns, so I will probably track some of that progress here as well. I'm still, unfortunately, working on getting my family to use the correct pronouns and I know there are a few who will never even attempt to understand, let alone use my preferred pronouns. But I have hope.
I'm currently dating a pangender, pansexual starkin, who is the best thing that has happened to me in a long while. I'll probably refer to them/it as them or it(their/it's preferred pronouns). I call them/it Stephen and will probably refer to them/it as Stephen here (unless they confirm that they/it want/s to be called Vaylin). And if you're curious for some reason, I have dated two females and two males before Stephen. I guess I'll add in that I identify as a polymorph and have a lot of opinions and theories on this subject that I may or may not address in this blog (here's the wiki on otherkin, and if/when I formally address it in its own post, I'll link a website I like a lot better and is more informative).
But aside from my complex gender identity, sexual orientation, and non-human status, I'm still a very intricate being. My life actually sounds like the plot of a horror, drama, or soap opera and I might address a lot of the stuff that has happened recently. I'm an aspiring author (you can find some of my work here, though I only really like Insight and Fear The Repear and the poem If Only To Create) and tend to engage in heavy conversations about fiction, grammar, and language politics. I'm an introvert due to a lot of issues I've developed, but if you give me a chance, I'm actually pretty social. I have a very "punk" appearance I guess, so I know many people tend to stay away from me as I stray from the social norm but that doesn't bother me. In fact, I find it amusing. I'm still attempting to achieve an androgynous look but my face is super feminine and causes me tons of dysphoria. I listen to a myriad of music genres, and if you ever have any recommendations for me, they'd be greatly appreciated. I can also probably recommend music to you if you want. I also listen to music in six different languages (German, Korean, Japanese, Russian, French, and English of course). I turn seventeen in about a week and my birthday also happens to be the first day of school for me. I have not yet learned to drive (and I would really rather not).
I also have a ton of weird habits. I believe that I have sensory integration problems and misophonia and some other mental problems that I'd rather not mention, so if you ever meet me, watch carefully and tell me about all my quirks. I'm also vegan, and have been for a little over a year, which is weird considering I hate vegetables. I have several siblings but currently only live with two, a sister and a brother, both younger, that will probably pop up in many posts. Their names are Mariah (almost 14) and Nick (just turned 9, also he's only a half-sibling) and while I'm attempting to teach them about other genders, they don't quite understand, but they fully accept my sexuality. I'm currently living with my grandmother and I will probably explain my whole situation once things have settled down and are set in stone. I might mention AJ, another younger brother who lives in Oklahoma with our father (he's 15). I may also mention Jonathan, another half-brother who is in his twenties who had been given up for adoption at birth(we still maintain a good relationship with him). I had a previous blog from when I was ignorant as heck and was still super confused about gender identity and sexuality, so if you happen to find that, please forgive me.
I think that is a sufficient amount of information for now. I'm pretty sure you can thoroughly stalk me now, so have fun (actually please don't stalk me, I don't like attention much). I've left a ton of stuff out, I'm sure, but it'll come out eventually in other posts. I guess I'll post some pictures of my face then.
This is my favorite picture of myself:

And here's my face currently:

Ew I seriously don't know how to take good pictures of myself, sorry. I kinda look like a serial killer. Also what is my hair doing? (Half my head is shaved, yes, I know.)

So anyway, I guess I'll leave it at that and see where it goes from here.